Closing My 21st Chapter

I’ve been an alarming amount of different people since I turned 18 (how Gavin has loved all of them, I don’t know, but I love him even more for it). Some stages and decisions I’m proud of. Some I am not. But through it all, I’ve shifted and molded into who I am today, and I love her so much. And I love my life. And I love who I’m becoming and where I’m going.

I finally feel like I’m who I was meant to be all along. I’m finally happy with my belief system- even though I know who I am and what I believe is fluid and susceptible to change. I know I’m doing my best with the knowledge and experience that I have at this point in time.

I’m finally happy with my career after several changes. Can we stop expecting high schoolers who have to ask permission to do anything to suddenly be functioning adults with critical thinking skills that know what they want to do until they’re 65? That’s another convo for another day. I edited my first book (someone else’s book, not mine, I’m not there yet), which was huge for me going forward and getting new clients.

I did all of the hard work this last year. I started going to therapy. For some reason, I’m afraid to admit that. Who am I kidding, I know the reason. I’m working on breaking the stigma surrounding getting help for your mental health- even if it’s only within my own circle of reach. If I can encourage someone to get help and it stops them from passing on generational trauma, I want to.

I’ve apologized to myself for constantly expecting me to be further in life and not just letting myself be where I am. I’ve forgiven myself for the times that I didn’t see how much I have to offer. I’ve let go of the things that happened to me that had no reflection on who I was or what I deserved. I’m only responsible for me and what I can control.

I was able to text my counselor 2 weeks ago to say, “Can we cancel my appointment? I’m running out of things to say.” I know that’s a good thing because I’ve gotten everything off of my chest, and I’m free to breathe now. I don’t have to keep reliving it. 

Maybe this was TMI for a birthday post and more than anyone asked for, but I thought about sharing it in a social media caption and didn’t, so I really did try to spare you. I’m working on sharing more of the me that I’ve become in private. So even though I’ll probably have anxiety and cringe at how much I overshared and under proofread when I’m trying to sleep tonight, and maybe for months to come, I have peace knowing that I did what I felt was best for me today. That’s all we can do until our last day.

Staying Mentally And Physically Healthy During Quarantine

I’m finally sitting down to write for the first time since we’ve started social distancing.

I’ve been a little bored, but I haven’t felt very creative. I didn’t take advantage of this “break” like I wish I had.

I’ve loved seeing you guys share posts about this time being uncharted territory and not a productivity competition. I appreciate when you’re willing to say, “I feel this way too.”

Whether you’ve been feeling anxious, shaking your fists at the government, or you mask everything with humor- I get it. I think I’ve gone through the seven stages of grief in the last month.

It may seem like I’m a little late sharing this, and I would have written it sooner, but I really didn’t think this was going to go on for as long it has.

Of course, none of us know when things will truly feel normal again, so here we go with my usual tips on how to thrive (or even just survive).

Talk To A Friend Every Day

There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

You can go from enjoying the freedom to do what you want at home to feeling paralyzed and helpless really quickly. Your friends are still only a phone call away, and you don’t have to go days without talking to anyone.

Also, I’m not blind to the people who are stuck at home with an abusive partner or have been struggling financially. Not everyone is able to fill their day with crafts and baking banana bread in a peaceful environment.

Whether you’re the one who needs help or they are, staying in continual contact with the outside world could literally save someone’s life. So check on the friend that you’ve been worried about. It’s probably for a reason.

Use A Telemed Service For Your Doctor’s Appointments

Telemed is one of coolest things we have access to these days. It’s normally cheaper than going to a doctor’s office, especially if you don’t have health insurance. Plus, you’re safer from contracting anything by staying away from the walk in clinics right now.

I had two appointments last month that I was given the option to schedule over FaceTime, and I actually preferred it to the normal way.

I’ll link a website that you can get prescriptions through, and another one that you can use to talk to a licensed therapist at the end of this post.

Stick To A Daily Routine

I already cut most of my hair off, which is my favorite pastime when I’m remotely bored with my life. So I’m like, “Now what?!”

Try to go on a walk, cook something healthy everyday, and keep yourself busy so you don’t end up cutting your own bangs in the bathroom.

Don’t even act like you haven’t thought about it. 😉

As always, I’m here if you need someone to talk to. Please reach out to me or someone who can help if you’re experiencing domestic violence or food insecurity during this time.

This is one of the weirdest things most of us have ever lived through, so remember to be kind to yourself and others! Stay safe!! ❤

Lemonaid Health for a variety of online doctor’s visits and medicine delivery.

BAILEY sent you a $10 credit for an online doctor visit with Lemonaid!

If you have the Lemonaid app, apply the promo code BAILEYR897958 at checkout.

Talkspace for online counseling services. (I’ve never used this company before, but they have really great ratings!)

Get $65 off with code APPLY65

Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Setting Intentions For The New Year

As we’re envisioning the next year, it can either be overwhelming or exciting to think about how much we want to accomplish in the next 12 months.

We’re all writing out our checklists and coming up with new goals to reach.

Maybe you’re looking forward to a blank slate to recover from this year.

Understanding the reasons behind your goals can cut down on the unnecessary pressure to perform just for the sake of it.

In a world that’s pulling us in 50 different directions and always asking us to do more, choose to slow down and decide what’s going to be important to you in the upcoming year.

1. Honor The Progress You’ve Made This Year

Take a moment to be proud of all of your accomplishments – both big and small!

Recognize how much you’ve grown in different areas of your life. Figure out what helps you grow and what tends to hold you back. 

Note the habits that you’re glad you’ve created and build on them in 2020. Your habits become your life, so get rid of the ones that don’t align with who you want to be by the end of next year.

2. Shift Your Perspective On What Goals Mean To You

Try not to set goals that reflect fear, doubt, and self-loathing. Working towards a new career, moving past a break up, or meeting a goal weight can either be rooted in shame or love. 

Go into 2020 wanting to create, grow, and love as much as you can and everything else will follow. 

You’ll build the business you dream of because you’re passionate about it. 

You’ll heal from the pain you’ve accumulated up until this point because you’re too full of peace to carry it anymore. 

You’ll workout more and eat healthier because you love yourself and you want to feel good.

Your goals should be for self-improvement rather than satisfying the opinions of others.

3. Scratch The Unrealistic Resolutions And Keep The Goals Your Excited To Reach

When making resolutions, I can usually tell way ahead of time what I can and can’t commit to.

You don’t have to have monumental goals that are going to weigh on you until you give up on them in February.

Create a small list of goals that build on top of each other leading to somewhere bigger. Simply add on to your list if you complete it earlier than you thought you would have.

Set the highest of intentions, but have expectations that leave room for grace.

2019 was definitely the best year of my life, and if it wasn’t yours, I hope the next one is.

I want to thank everyone who read, liked, shared, and commented on something I wrote this year. My confidence has grown immeasurably because of your support.

You now have the option to email me anonymously through my contact page, so let me know how I can be praying for you.

I’m cheering you on!

With love, Bailey

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